“Brokeback Mountain”…I haven’t seen the movie yet but from the day I’ve heard about it I am excited…initially, as it is gay movie and hotties like Jake Gylenhaal and Heath Ledger are acting in it ,it made me eager to know about it more…but reading the storyline I became restless.

From the day I am reading about it, watching clips and trailer…I donno about how the actors have acted but I’ve become crazy about Jake’s eyes.

In one of Jake’s interview he said something like…”there is a stage in every mans life where he thinks he is attracted to other men/man…but you don’t try it”…well I’ve tried…I really hate calling myself “gay”…but I’ve met boys, had encounters with them…and everytime I have gone through same feeling…”this is not what I want”…I am attracted to guys but sex is not what attracts me.

I’ve loved a boy all from my heart, who was unknown to me…I just looked into his eyes and got lost ...its been 8 year but still I can feel that magic…I am 24 now…but I never felt grown up from that moment…I still feel myself as a teenager who is lost in those eyes….at that time I used to think “why I am thinking so much about a stranger…”…I cried ,I denied and I was helpless.

Today he is my friend…though I know I can never call him mine(he is str8)…still I feel enchanted just by thinking of him…I never had physical feeling for him and will never think anything like that…but I want his company as much as I can get.

From the moment I’ve read Brokeback Mountain’s story my heart has stopped beating normally…there are things I want to say but not getting exact words for them…I donno whether I’ll get a chance to see “Brokeback Mountain”…I even donno how it is ended...don’t want to know even.

It says “LOVE IS THE FORCE OF NATURE”…and there are really moments when you really love a person…that feeling is pure, natural…and sex is only a way to express that feeling…I don’t know if so called “normal” boys feel it or not…I even don’t know if so called “gays” feels it or not...but I don’t think they might be feeling this because this feeling is free from sexuality tag…

You don’t become a “gay” just coz u have special feeling for another boy nor you are “str8/normal” coz u are attracted to opposite sex…LOVE is a bond between two hearts…and the one denying it is the most unlucky person…LOVE doesn’t say two should stay together always…LOVE never asks for anything in return…it simply says LOVE.